Monday, April 7, 2014

La novata

Shirah, me, Nicole, and Heather
 I truly feel like I am always caught between worlds and never fit into one or the other. While we were in the US, I couldn't fit in with the exiled spouses who were already with their undocumented spouses. I finally make the move to Mexico and I still feel like I don't fit in!! We spent the weekend out of town and met up with Nicole and her family in Queretaro on Friday. We had planned on making a chocolate and peanut cake that I found on Pinterest so Nicole thought it would be a great idea to invite over some other exiled wives that are in the area.
And there we were; four exiled wives who followed their husbands to another country. Four women who loved their husbands more than the great ol' U S of A. I find myself in awe of this group of women. All three of them have lived here for 7+ YEARS, given birth to their children here, and already been through every up and down in life that I can't even imagine yet. So here I am, the newbie, the greenhorn, the novata (novice). We are all educated women with two Masters and two Bachelors between the four of us. Definitely not the uneducated poor white girl who hooks up with a darkie because we have no self worth and need a man to take care of us. We are awesome and these women are my role models. In our world, you have to walk the walk to earn our respect because talk is just that, just talk. We've all reached a point in our lives where actions are the only things that matter. Don't tell us that you think our husbands should be allowed to live in our country with us, prove it with your vote. Write letters to your congressperson and representative. Show the world that there is a US Citizen face behind these stories of deporations and bans. A citizen spouse must certainly does NOT equal a visa and we are living proof of that. I feel so much stronger now knowing that I have the support and knowledge of these women to learn from and draw on in times of need and strength. For now, I'm sharing my stories and strength as the newbie to the group and helping other women make the same transition. I have my foot in both worlds...

And the cake turned out delicious!!! You can find the original recipe here: Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake
Pinterest Version
Our Version


  1. Krystal, I think I'm more the novice than you. It's true I look up to all of you as I wait impatiently for June and I admire the strength of each and every woman who has made the trek away from the US to another country for the sake of love. There was a time when I thought I could never leave Portland, but your example and encouragement gave me the courage I needed to make the leap. I have so much love and respect for all of the wives.

    And that cake has 'diabetes' written all over it, so it must have been delicious.

  2. Oh wow do I love the' Definitely not the uneducated poor white girl who hooks up with a darkie because we have no self worth and need a man to take care of us.' That has generally been the concensus for eons! I have a Bachelors in sociology and am a nurse and teach English in Mexico. Thank you for telling it like it is Krystal!

  3. Who knew that exile could be so sweet? :-) But seriously, none of us ever fit in—no matter what our previous situations were, none of us ever expected to live this kind of life. The trick is finding our common ground, despite how different our situations may be, and I am grateful to you and other people in our situation for having the frame of mind to make alliances despite all odds. To the good fight!

  4. p.s. can you email me those photos please? :-)

  5. Loved this post! So many people don't realize the implications of deportation and the effects it has on families.



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